xmas stars

xmas stars

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Did i get what i wanted for xmas ?

Sadly i dread this question year after year as although i got lots of lovely lovely pressies and Xmas was fab with no illness the thing i want more than anything is not the answers to Tommy's complex needs like you'd all think - although that would be the best pressie ever no the think i want more than ever is for people to except Tommy for who he is now he is walking people think oh hes ok hes developing and will have a normal life now this really makes me sad as it just goes to show they only see whats on the out side not all the ongoing dips in the road we go down ever day i know it hard to understand in till you've dealt with it your self but having people not try to understand or even listen to what we tell them hurts Tommy has many complex needs that will never get better and will always stop him from having a normal life hes on 3 different kinds of meds some 3 times a day he has hearing and sight problems and joint and muscle problems his body can crash out with out warning at any time of day but its a case of its behind closed doors so what people cant see in there minds doesn't happen its the same as his sensory issues until you see it happened you don't know.

Here's a few things which made Xmas different for for us , no Xmas light search due to Tommy's problems with his non dilating pupils makes going in the car at night painful and scary for him , no singing Santa toys sensory problems again , Xmas crackers on Xmas day when those little hands went up and from behind them peeped scared little eyes , Xmas pressies of singing and moving Teddy's and toys up went the little hands again , his big brother got a plane that fly's in the room yep and up went those hands now i feel the pain my eldest goes through as hes told to put it away .

Those little hands are his shield they make him feel safe but behind them there's no smiles just sadness and fear and to see that makes me sad .

So no i didn't get what i wanted for Xmas as all i wished for was not to be told yet again how hes developing fine now and will have a normal life .But please before anyone comments  on my blog behind my back like you do let me just tell you i prob had a more rewarding xmas than i could have wished for as it was full of love .

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